So, I really hate making these posts and try not to as much as possible, but the only thing I’ve eaten in the last two days is a stale muffin from 7-11 that was all I could afford with the whole dollar and ten cents in my bank account yesterday.
I know there’s a ton of people in dire straits and there’s never a shortage of donation posts, and I also know from personal experience that there’s also a lot of amazing and generous people who give as much as they can to people whenever they can. I KNOW that some of you want to help but have just already helped as much as you possibly can, and please just know that just because I’m still struggling, that doesn’t mean that any help you gave me already didn’t make a difference. The responses I got to my first donation post early last month are the only reason I survived December, and like….they made a difference, and they definitely mattered. And I also know there’s people who see my posts and want to help but already gave whatever they could to other donation posts and please don’t ever feel bad that you don’t have anything you can send because you already sent it to someone else who needed it.
I truly do not make posts like this with any kind of expectation, its just…desperation, lol. I’ve monetized every skill I can think of that I have in every way possible I can come up with, I’m working as much as I possibly can when I do find the work, but this past month I’ve spent three to four hours every day searching out new jobs and commissions and clients with practically zero results, and I can only work with the work that’s there,
There are positives, I mean, my efforts in rebuilding my credit have really started to pay off and I finally have a decent credit score that should make getting an apartment finally possible on that front. I have insurance now, so all the stuff I’ve been waiting months to get started on is now at least feasibly affordable. Now I just need to be able to like, capitalize on these things, y’know? As great as it is to only have to pay sixty bucks for one of the medical tests I need done where without insurance it would’ve been three hundred, only making just enough to stay afloat in the motel I’m at day to day still keeps that stuff JUST out of reach and that’s…ugh.
And also, its hard to be productive on one muffin every 1-2 days lmao, esp when you’ve got the whole chronic pain medical shit blah blah wtfever ugh shut up my life.
But seriously, anything you can spare helps keep me afloat and building towards a day/point when I can actually do something to turn things around in a more permanent, sustainable way. Like, you may think that oh ppl say on donation posts all the time that even one or two bucks helps, but does it really? But let me tell you, like….yes. Yes it does. Even two bucks is basically double what I spent on food over the last two days lol, so….yeah.
And again, if you just can’t spare anything, you wanna help but you’ve already helped as much as you could or helped other people - I totally get that and am grateful that you already did everything you could, whether it was for me or for someone else who needed it. It may not make a ton of sense but it honestly helps to know that some ppl just aren’t in a position to help me personally because someone else already benefited from their help. Like, when you’re living one of those ‘ugh, wouldnt wish this on anyone’ lives at the moment, and you see so many other ppl going through so much shit of their own like, fuck yeah, I’d love a comfortable cushion in my bank account, who wouldn’t, but there’s still its own kinda value in knowing someone else who spent yesterday just as worried about where their next meal would come from as you is sleeping a little easier tonight because someone else responded to their donation post instead of yours. Like, that’s not a loss, or a waste or something anyone should feel bad about, so please don’t.
If all you can do is reblog, that honestly helps too, so please don’t think its an empty gesture that doesn’t really do much. You never know when your reblog might be the one to make a difference for someone, because someone who follows you is in a position to help and might never have seen my post otherwise. I know I got donations last month from people who don’t follow me and probably had no idea who I was before my post crossed their dash, and I know in the past I’ve donated to people I’d never heard of before a mutual reblogged their post, and again - when even a few bucks can make a difference, let alone the larger amounts some generous souls on here are capable of sending, yeah, even a simple reblog really and truly can make a difference. Not just for my post here, but for any and all donation posts.
Anyway, here’s the link to my paypal again, and thanks for reading or reblogging or donating or hell, even just for following someone who reblogs this onto your dash because that’s definitely someone I Officially Like and appreciate even if I have no idea who they are lol.
https://paypal.me/bigskydreaming
thebibliosphere
